3 Months Down!

Yesterday was my three month post-op appointment with Dr. Piper, and today is my official anniversary! I was so nervous that I've wrecked the fat grafts over these past few months by doing various things, like forgetting to put my splint in on time, bumping myself in the face, even sleeping without it twice on accident. I've been eating probably the same 8-10 foods for the last three months, swallowing pills bigger than my head, looking like a pill junkie, but "I promise they're just vitamins!" and talking 6 hours a day at work with the worst lisp ever.

It's all been worth it, and yesterday confirmed that! My fat grafts are completely fine. They're doing great, and I haven't done anything to harm them. The big news is my reward for reaching 3 months; My last splint schedule was 1 hour 15 minute breaks 5 times a day, eating foods that I can swallow, no chewing. Strict exercise regiment with the Therabite and jiggles, and I FORGOT TO MENTION the traumatic event that was BREAKING MY SPLINT IN HALF.

Side story: it had a hairline fracture down the middle from being dropped in the sink while washing, etc. and it finally happened... I was washing it, and dropped it on the floor... I just wanted to sit on the floor with my shattered splint (and life, duh) and sob. But I picked it up, super glued it back together, and went on my way. I didn't get it lined up perfectly and it was pretty painful to wear for the two weeks till my appointment.

Anyway...

New schedule! I wear the splint for 16 hours a day including sleep and can plan this however I want. I can take it out and leave it out for a few hours, as long as the times in the splint are spread out somewhat evenly and I meet the 16 hour mark.

I GET TO CHEW ONE MEAL A DAY!

Guys.

I GET TO CHEW ONE MEAL A DAY.

One soft chew meal a day, the consistency of a meatball or similar. Dr. Piper himself said hamburger. I about busted out of that exam room and sped to the nearest 5 Guys! Sooo naturally, as you can see, I had a cheeseburger and fries and it was GLORIOUS. Medium rare, no onions or crunchy lettuce, tiny bites, and chewing like a weirdo who hasn't had a burger in 5 months, but glorious. In summary, I celebrated by shotgunning a beer, eating this cheeseburger, and watching 22 Jump Street.

Like a boss.

This morning, I chose donuts as my soft chew meal. This whole weight gain thing is gonna be a breeze from here...

The only somewhat negative news I got is that my right jaw (the side that was damaged when I fell on my face, and jaw whose growth was stunted), or condyle to be more specific, has less bone growth than Dr. Piper had hoped for. I may need jaw lengthening surgery at some point, but his plan is to keep an eye on it and have that talk when we need to. Of course, I hope we don't have to, but the whole jaw is so small; it looks insane on my CT scans, and I feel like half of my face should look huge compared to the other side based one what the bones really look like.

The reason for the jaw lengthening would be because my jaw wouldn't be long enough to support and maintain a corrected bite. I'll have braces after 9 months in the splint to correct my bite (my teeth only touch on the right side to tell you how off my bite is) and my jaw just wouldn't be able to accommodate and keep my new bite aligned -- worst case, though.

I like looking at best case better, especially after how this appointment went. It was so much more than I hoped for, and I cried after I ate my cheeseburger. No one knows this. Keep it that way. 

December-March consisted of soup, scrambled eggs, baby food, yogurt, smoothies, macaroni and cheese, and eventually (when I was brave enough to try new things) beans and rice, fish, and soft veggies; all foods cut into tiny pieces and swallowed whole. Struggling with the Therabite and forcing my jaws to gain the strength to open wider and wider. Slowly increasing time out of my splint from only 15 minutes at a time to an hour and 15. Hating my voice and lisp, and any time I had to talk to anyone. Smiling and laughing, but dealing with the annoyance of my lips getting stuck on my braces (okay, that's funny). Not being able to use my tongue... You take that for granted! 

March-whenever looks like eating cheeseburgers and meatballs and sandwiches and donuts, working out without feeling like I'm going to die on the spot (you can't breathe through your mouth but through one hole in the splint), being out of my splint long enough to have a decent conversation, good night out, and sense of feeling normal. I feel less fragile and less scared that I am going to mess everything up. I feel more hopeful that things will keep getting better. And am convinced that there will be more happy crying than sad crying. :)

I'm sure it'll continue to be frustrating and hold me back at times, but I'm really happy with my journey and the realizations and experiences I've had, people I've met, things I've learned about myself, and limits I've pushed. 

Happy three months to me!

I don't look back on things till I decide to write another one of these it seems, so here's how good things have been.

And yes, those things include margaritas, llamas, guns, and cinnamon rolls the size of my head.

UPDATE!

Just under 3 months since it all went down, and I feel like making lists today, so here are a few lists pertinent to surgery, post-op life, and my day-to-day victories, struggles, routines and funny moments.

Foods I never thought I'd be able to eat:
CHIPOTLE!
Garlic bread (Soft)
Enchiladas
Steak
Donuts
Panera's bread (Break it up and soak in soup. Heaven.)


Common misconceptions about what my splint is:
Vampire teeth (6 year old)
Teeth whitening device (?)
Plain old braces...


Common misconceptions about what my name is:
Shannon
Shaina
SHARA (REALLY?)

Small scares:
Bumping myself in the face (I'm protected while the splint is in) ...I do it way more that you'd ever think.
Fell down at work... Actually really hilarious story looking back, but was so scary as my splint was out! As long as the splint still fits and nothing is cracking/feels out of place, I'm assured I am okay!

Best moments:
Knowing I've overcome something big!
Finding a community of amazing people who provide support, laughs, and can relate to the same exact experiences.
Finding people I can now relate to and empathize with more than I would before
Being hired at a company and in a role I never thought I'd be able to fulfill under my circumstances, and doing well at it!
Finding my independence, and also the best support system ever in my friends and family.
Knowing and understanding it's GREAT to ask for help and accept it from others.

From a medical standpoint though, to get a little more serious, I am having a lot of neck pain/headaches still and my sympathetic system is a wreck. I haven't been able to unwind the system and allow everything to relax and be normal. I'm doing Chiro, and now massage (have found an AWESOME masseuse in St. Pete) and will hopefully be in for a nerve block the week after next. Optimism, happiness, laughter, positive influences, and following instructions from Doctors are what help me the most.


Tilllll next time.
xo

(I'll add pretty pictures later, promise.)

Six Week Check-Up

Not much happened at this appointment; it was just a quick in-and-out to meet with Dr. Piper to see if any medications need to be adjusted, that the splint still fits, and that the exercises and healing are going well.

We have agreed that I need nerve block injections and have scheduled those for next week preceding my Chiro to try to kick some of my neck pain and headaches. They'll be injected into my neck and will numb the areas where I have pain in hopes of bringing the pain levels down once the anesthesia wears off. I think mine will be in the occipital nerve, but will probably have multiple done.

I'll also have my splint polished as it's a little bit sharp in a few places and has been irritating my tongue. I did want them to crimp/reposition one of my hooks on my braces because it was causing a lot of pain, but since I've started using the Orajel Antiseptic Rinse mouthwash, my mouth feels so much better. I'm using less wax and feeling a lot less pain inside my mouth.

I have been reading a lot about Magnesium supplements helping with muscle soreness and got the okay to start taking it; Dr. Piper also added Calcium and Vitamin D to my list of dailies.

Here's where I'm at as far as medications, vitamins, pain levels, and activity:

Klonopin 0.5mg 4x daily
Trazodone 1 - 1.5 tabs 1x PM
Relafen as needed for anti-inflammatory
Tylenol as needed for pain - not taken with Relafen, and not taken on consecutive days.
Glucosamine & Chondroiton
     This one, to the left is the most disgusting. Buy it in powder form if possible!
      I have to crush the pills and mix them and it tastes horrible.
Vitamin E, C
Calcium & Vitamin D
Magnesium

Each vitamin has a different dosage/amount of units I'm supposed to satisfy daily. It's a mess trying to remember it all, so I'm just going to spare myself the numbers for now.

Chiropractic treatments 1x week
Gym: I have been trying to go every day and target a different muscle group, but only choosing exercises that protect my neck from any strain. I haven't been able to do cardio or any HIIT as it's just too difficult to breathe out of my mouth.

Pain levels
Headaches are daily, mostly in my temples and between my eyes. They range from a pain level of 4-9, and I can't wait to get the nerve blocks.
I have slight muscle soreness and occasional spasms in my jaws, but pain levels here can be 2-4.
My teeth have become very sensitive from clenching and lifting out of the splint to talk, ranging from pain levels of 5-10, depending on when I retrain to talk with my teeth together, and play around with the Trazodone dosages and remember to relax my jaws.
My neck is what has been consistently bothering me still, as you've probably read over and over, but Chiropractic and getting into the gym to regain strength and correct my posture should help; it's just a matter of time.


When I am out of the splint, I can open my mouth wide, and have a good range of motion without pain, something that I haven't been able to say for myself for years.

I almost forgot - tomorrow, my breaks out of the splint increase to 45 minutes!

Upcoming!

I have a somewhat big week coming up, as compared to the last month and a half of my life (well, minus surgery)... And just felt like writing a bit about that and what's next. I see this page as my outlet to document, share, connect, and to make myself happy, so if it starts to not make sense to you, keep in mind that it does to me.

When I moved down to St. Pete for my surgery, I had a job lined up. My offer was recently revoked because of the way I talk with the splint in, even though my employer was aware of this beforehand. Feeling discriminated against and hurt, I applied, called, interviewed, and was shot down like crazy but finally have been offered a very good position at a facility I love. Monday starts my circuit of pre-employment procedures, and will determine if I am fit for the role, so fingers crossed! I am staying realistic, but hopeful about it all.

Next, I have my six-week check up with Dr. Piper on Tuesday, where he'll see me for just a short period of time, see how I'm doing after the surgery, and answer any questions. It's not until three months that he orders a new CT and the works.


I've been spending a lot of time on the beach, and it seems to be the best cure for anything - bad day, too much on your mind, boredom, loud neighbors, anything. I'm lucky to be so close to some of the most beautiful beaches here on the Gulf!



My neck is still KILLING me and Dr. Hobbs says that skeletally, I look great, it's just muscular work now that needs to be done. He has advised me to correct my posture and work on strengthening the muscles that are causing problems. When he first saw me, he would touch a muscle in my neck and the surrounding areas would jump and spasm, but he says that that has subsided and everything "looks" great - but it just doesn't feel great yet.

Two days ago, I got back into the gym for the first time in almost four months, which used to be a religious routine for me and is something that I've really missed. It's been really difficult, not being able to breathe out of my mouth much at all, and adjusting to having lost all of my strength and about 20 pounds of weight. My starting weight was about 136-138 and I am now 113. I'm trying to pack in some protein and build muscle to get back to a healthier weight. I'm not sure if gaining or losing is more difficult, as I can now say I've experienced both.

I went roller skating last night and was terrified I'd fall on my face! No injuries occurred, just needed a firm hand to hold the entire time, and was a wall-hugger. It was actually a blast, and was my first time ever roller skating. I tried not to envy/secretly hate all of the 5-10 year olds that were rocking it.

I've applied to be approved to volunteer at a dog shelter to help fill more of my time since I'm taking this semester off from school. I'd really rather be taking a few classes now, but can see that it was a good choice to hold off until the summer, so hopefully I'll be playing with puppies soon and trying not to kidnap as many as I can carry out on the first day...

I'm currently at home with my own puppies and couldn't be happier... Nothing is better than the love of a dog.

That's all I can think to write at the moment, just taking things as they come still, and trying to make the best of it all. 

One Month Post-Op

Every day that I wake up and am closer to my three month "anniversary" is a beautiful blessing. I can't wait to spend more time out of the splint and fully feel the benefits of this procedure. I can feel them every day, progressing and making me a stronger, happier person. It is so great to be able to converse with others, shout and scream, and sing to my heart's content. I haven't done that in... I can't even remember how long. 

Recovery has not been easy pain-wise, but the pain changes the further down the road I come; keeping me on my toes, and teaching me what I need to fix to be 100%.

The inside of my mouth is a wreck from the braces, bands, and brackets, and the Therabite is now starting to irritate me as a little well. I feel like I have permanent lines tattooed into my cheeks from the bands, and have developed cuts on my lips and sores/cuts inside my mouth. They're my "battle scars."

I'm going to start doing more and trying new things to treat and prevent all of this as it's absolutely miserable at times! Honestly, the most comfortable thing to do is puff my cheeks out like a child having a tantrum; not the most becoming, though.

I was able to wear ear buds for the first time a few days ago. It wasn't too bad, but my ears were sore afterwards. The scars are more prominent than I thought they'd be, but I'm told repeatedly they are not noticeable (as people always say). I also feel like my ears are still swollen and the cartilage feels a bit harder than it used to.

Looking at this photo now, I can see that

the incision isn't all that noticeable.

The other side looks identical.

The incision on my abdomen is healing well, but is still pretty bumpy and I'm hoping that goes away or I can find a way to help it along. It isn't noticeable, but I of course don't like it. For someone who has never had an incision or stitches, I'm pretty fascinated by how odd they look.

I ate my first meal out in public yesterday. I just brought my bag of essentials along, ordered, and once my food was ready, went to the bathroom and took the splint out, putting it back in after 30 minutes. It was great! I had rice, beans and guac at a great Mexican place.

I'm exploring and trying more with meals; beans and rice, shredded chicken, BROWNIES, bread soaked in soup so that it's easily swallowed (PANERA - FINALLY), and I'm going to try a taco salad (sans-taco shells) this week. I'm having a hard time getting enough protein or hardly any meat, so now's the time to get creative.

I've just started today with this supplement, which is delicious and tastes like iced coffee.   I have clearance to get back into the gym  and hit some weights (light weights, high reps... better than nothing) and can't wait! 

I've been having Chiropractic treatment once a week, but still feel like a mess. If it isn't my upper back, it's my lower and vice versa; My C-spine is still a wreck but ice helps more than I give it credit for. I woke up Sunday with intense pain in my sternocleidomastoid muscle on both sides and was terrified they'd start spasming. Ice helped with that as well. My traps are still a constant problem as they're inflamed and have very obvious trigger points, but ultrasound therapy and everything that Dr. Hobbs has been doing is helping a lot. I've been advised to stop stretching my neck so much as I'm aggravating the capsules and to self-massage and use ice, which, I give the Doc credit for - really works, as simple as it is.

I have a quick check-up in the clinic in one week, and have a list of questions/concerns prepared that I'd like to ask Dr. Piper:

I have accidentally bumped myself in the jaw enough to raise concern a few times; Could it have done any damage?

Are there any parts of my braces/brackets that can be removed to avoid irritation?

Doubling the dosage of Trazodone has helped a lot with the sensitivity in my scalp and headaches. Are there any repercussions of increasing the dose?

I am still getting headaches almost daily though, is there anything I can take or do to prevent/treat them? They are in my temples and between the eyes.

The therabite pinches my cheeks very hard when I use it after moving up to Peg 4. 

I have a hook (on the braces) that is bent forward and causes the most pain and irritation inside my mouth. The hook in the front center causes a lot of irritation and pain as well.

I have heard of taking Magnesium to help with Bruxism and muscle pain. What do you think of this and would it be right for me rather than Trazodone?

I'm still maintaining my last instructions to double my dosage of Trazodone at night to keep my muscles from spasming, but it's still so hard to get out of bed in the morning. If I don't lay down soon after taking it, I feel like I'll fall, right where I am. I've heard a lot about Magnesium from different forums and want to see if maybe it could be a good alternative for me. Granted, the Trazodone is helping a lot, I'd just like to get away from the side effects. 

Truer words have never been spoken. Cheeeeese fries. 

As for the pain in my jaws, I have none! I wouldn't say none as in never, at any point, under any circumstance - yawning, talking too much, bumping my jaws, and doing the exercises cause small bouts of pain, but nothing like what I was going through before. Side-to-side movements while out of the splint seem to cause the most pain (sharp and acute, not lasting very long), for whatever reason. 

I am so happy with my progress and decreased levels of pain. My ice packs and heating pads, strict exercise regime, and timely medication routine have been a huge help, as well as Chiropractic and constant advice from the loving Clinic staff. 

I'm starting to become a "picture" girl, so surround yourself with beautiful things, keep looking forward, and see the beauty in your pain; that you are alive enough to feel it, and strong enough to survive it. I took comfort in that before I could find the help I needed; that even though I wanted to curl into a ball and never face the world, I was able to get up and do just that, day after day, despite the pain.