Title?

My 9 month post-op appointment was set to be on 8/31, but due to work I've pushed it back to 9/22. Right around my 6 month, I was in a car accident where I sprained my neck and Dr. Piper was unable to determine if anything changed with my jaws because of that. I'm really nervous and excited for this one, and have been looking back on all of the months that have passed since December.

I remember deciding to go through with my surgery, and the amazing efforts of my family and friends to help me through it financially, physically, and emotionally. I remember being so nervous in the hospital, waiting my turn, and running three hours behind. I remember waking up to my morphine pump, face wrapped in ice packs, mouth completely banded shut, smiling up at my family. I remember my night in the hospital and my mom sleeping on the hospital bed right next to me, and my amazing nurses. I remember the next day, and few weeks to follow that were so hard to adapt to; only taking my splint out for 15 minutes at a time, racing to eat, brush, take medicine, and band the splint back in. I remember the first time someone made fun of me, and meant it. I remember losing the job I had accepted two weeks before my surgery because they didn't like the way I talked with my splint it. I remember job hunting and interviewing and wanting to enroll in classes right away, because I don't do breaks and relaxing very well...

I remember it all so clearly, like it was yesterday. Every hard decision, small victory, tear of joy, tear of sadness, tear of loneliness... and moment of pride in myself. Looking back, it was all so hard, and life-changing, but I rolled with it and got through it, and here I sit almost 9 months later. The time has flown by and I can't wait to see what is in store next... As long as it isn't another surgery; that I could wait on.

I've had plenty of really happy moments, like meeting people who have only ever known me with bright shiny braces, a huge splint banded in my mouth, and an impossible lisp that you cannot interpret unless you read lips perfectly. I still know those people and love that they still treat me the same way that they did when we first met.
Moving to St. Pete, having my world turned upside-down, and adapting to it all is another one of those moments. Missing my family and being filled with the biggest, sappiest, most disgusting feelings of joy when I see them. Landing a job that requires tons of talking and working through the excruciating pain of overworking my poor, beautiful, sparkly new jaws... Getting back into school to study something near and dear to my heart, radiography! (Not radiology; I do not want to attend years of med school and sit in a room all day staring at pictures and writing reports - not to knock anyone who does)... Find my way back into the sport I love, meeting tons of interesting people (good, bad, and funny) and seeing myself grow into a different person that I was just last year.

Not so happy moments include learning just today that my coworkers said to the rest of the staff after my first day, "Did you meet the new girl? Wait till you meet her. She's anorexic and can't talk." Being made fun of for what I consider the biggest blessing of my life doesn't change how I feel about anything, and those who get their amusement at the expense of others have more problems than jacked up jaws that require an expensive surgery and years of recovery to fix... So really, I lucked out. *Personality wise* ... *and sense of humor wise* *and I have awesome new and improved jaws wise* *and I eat donuts and pizza, and mocking any type of eating disorder makes you really kind of an ass, so I really came out on top here...wise*

I'm proud of my journey, proud of myself, proud of my doctors, my family, my friends, my adaptation, my relentless attitude towards recovery, my optimism (real friends know... I'm a pessimist. Sometimes the most pessimistic. Sorry), and most importantly, my body. It deserves for me to love it after all that it has been pushed through and getting me this far in recovery.

My heat pad-wearing, food-loving, endlessly struggling, weight fluctuating, non-anorexic, body. Thank you, ladies of work, who have no idea what I have gone through, thank you. I am happy. 

So I guess at this point, I can give an update on how I'm doing?

NOT per doctor's orders, I rarely use my Therabite as I don't feel any type of resistance or exercise with it anymore. Peg 6 anyone?
I've really backed off of the medicines; I'm still taking Relafen once daily as an anti-inflammatory, take 2 Klonopin with that in the morning, and no Trazodone/other at night.
My splint has been broken three times. I super glued it back together, dusted it off, and popped it in. It's doing great.
I only wear the splint to bed now. If my jaws feel fatigued or overly sore, or I'm going on a long car ride and want peace of mind, I add more time to my splint schedule.
I'm having less and less headaches, and learned that a lot of them stemmed from my neck pain, and the rest were migraines or almost-migraines (if those exist) which have certain triggers.
I can eat pizza, veggie straws, cheetos (the puffy ones), soft sandwiches, cheeseburgers (medium rare, no crunchy toppings), cliff bars, harder fruits (grapes), stir fry, cheese and crackers,
quesadillas, steak, and probably more things I've forgotten that I would not think I'd be eating for at least a year.

I have been having more migraines recently than I've ever had in the past. I started paying more attention to what triggers them, and it seems to be... tequila (I know), stress, sleeping in the wrong position (hurting my head/neck), or a lucky combination of two or more. Coffee helps. An occipital release done by a PRO helps immensely. Not drinking tequila is a great help. Sleeping flat on my back with my head elevated, great. Ice/heat, whichever seems fitting for that episode, and staying in a pitch black, quiet place is heaven.

Ennnnnd.

9.22.15

Six Months (And a lot of change!)

Here I am at the clinic again (not the first time since my three month appointment; I've been in for Chiropractic treatments and nerve blocks intermittently). It's my six month anniversary and so much has happened since March!

I guess to start with the bad, I was in an auto accident exactly one month ago. The word was never passed along to the clinic even though I called one of the staff the day that it happened, so Dr. Piper and everyone else was unaware. We had pushed my appointment back a whole month due to my work schedule but I was called up and beckoned in ASAP once they found out about the accident.

I'm currently sitting in the exam room (they're running a little behind) and just had my CT done. I'm really nervous! My airbags didn't deploy during the accident (a defect that I'm sure saved my fat grafts and I'm forever grateful for) and I didn't hit my head, but I have a sprained neck. The past month has been pretty painful with the intense neck pain, increased jaw pain, more severe headaches, and now back pain. Ice packs, anti-inflammatories and lots of resting have been my ritual.

Within the past week, I've reduced my diet to no-chew or very limited soft chew because it's just been too much. I'm anxiously awaiting Dr. Piper's arrival and the results of my CT scan as well as any word on the possible growth of my right jaw whose growth was stunted when I was a kid. In my last post, I mentioned Piper was hoping for it to grow, so fingers crossed.

To move on to the good things that have happened, I've played beach volleyball, started volunteering regularly for various causes, met amazing new people, settle into St. Pete even more, and started working primarily in an Outpatient Rehab Clinic, which I love. I also was paid a visit by an amazing, special, beautiful girl I met through the Piper network who had the same surgery and is three months behind me in recovery!

Resuming this post the next day after the appointment - Dr. Piper didn't mention anything about my jaw lengthening or growing and with everything that was happening, I honestly forgot to asked. He said it looked as if my condyles have softened (possibly from the accident) and I'm religiously taking a million vitamins again! Check out my new, awesome organizer for all those pills... Oh! And I broke my splint in half again... Super glue to the rescue.

He also said that my grafts are okay and that they weren't damaged during the accident. He said that from looking at my CT, I may have lost a little curvature in my neck.

He did nerve block injections which really helped immensely with the neck pain and headaches. I only iced my neck once today and had just a few come-and-go headaches that weren't too severe. I was pain free yesterday following the blocks, and my pain levels were reduced greatly today, which means the blocks worked great!

Worshiping my ice pack and waiting for the injections!

Once I'm at the six-week mark with my accident, we might consider different treatment options for my neck as chiropractic and palliative care haven't been advantageous to me so far. I'm going to stick with what Dr. Piper and Dr. Hobbs say and recommend, and see how it all goes. I'm hoping I can start working on range of motion, strengthening and correcting my posture at that point to get rid of some of this pain.

ALSO! Something that happened during my visit that was a total shock and I was completely unprepared for... I signed a form back in November agreeing that if I receive any blocks for an unrelated trauma, I would be financially responsible. So fast forward to June and I had completely forgotten about that form, and got slammed with a bill for almost $1,000. They didn't inform me ahead of time and I'm going to be billing it under auto, but it created quite a bit of shock! Something to keep in mind if anyone experiences the same! All of my other blocks have been covered under my global fee paid to Piper because they were related to surgery pains and recovery.

Dr. Piper increased my splint time (I was down to 10 hours a day including sleep and he bumped in back up to 12) which I am totally comfortable with! I've been doing more hours than recommended just for comfort and pain relief, so hearing from him that I was on the right track was good.

I wanted to back off of the soft chew meals and do more no-chew and stick with the consistency of eggs, soups, rice, soft breads, etc. but he disagreed and said that my jaws need the exercise.

All in all, I'm feeling much better today mostly due to the nerve blocks and being reassured that nothing has changed too much or is wrong to a concerning extent.

Hoping for the best from here on out! My jaws are doing great, it's just the all too regular aches and pains and now symptoms from the auto accident that are making me feel like I'm back in the chronic pain rut. I'm lucky enough to have an amazing support group who have been through tons of ups and downs and provide great insight on anything I might have a question about, and as always so much love from my family and friends. 

Anxious to see what 9 months has in store!

3 Months Down!

Yesterday was my three month post-op appointment with Dr. Piper, and today is my official anniversary! I was so nervous that I've wrecked the fat grafts over these past few months by doing various things, like forgetting to put my splint in on time, bumping myself in the face, even sleeping without it twice on accident. I've been eating probably the same 8-10 foods for the last three months, swallowing pills bigger than my head, looking like a pill junkie, but "I promise they're just vitamins!" and talking 6 hours a day at work with the worst lisp ever.

It's all been worth it, and yesterday confirmed that! My fat grafts are completely fine. They're doing great, and I haven't done anything to harm them. The big news is my reward for reaching 3 months; My last splint schedule was 1 hour 15 minute breaks 5 times a day, eating foods that I can swallow, no chewing. Strict exercise regiment with the Therabite and jiggles, and I FORGOT TO MENTION the traumatic event that was BREAKING MY SPLINT IN HALF.

Side story: it had a hairline fracture down the middle from being dropped in the sink while washing, etc. and it finally happened... I was washing it, and dropped it on the floor... I just wanted to sit on the floor with my shattered splint (and life, duh) and sob. But I picked it up, super glued it back together, and went on my way. I didn't get it lined up perfectly and it was pretty painful to wear for the two weeks till my appointment.

Anyway...

New schedule! I wear the splint for 16 hours a day including sleep and can plan this however I want. I can take it out and leave it out for a few hours, as long as the times in the splint are spread out somewhat evenly and I meet the 16 hour mark.

I GET TO CHEW ONE MEAL A DAY!

Guys.

I GET TO CHEW ONE MEAL A DAY.

One soft chew meal a day, the consistency of a meatball or similar. Dr. Piper himself said hamburger. I about busted out of that exam room and sped to the nearest 5 Guys! Sooo naturally, as you can see, I had a cheeseburger and fries and it was GLORIOUS. Medium rare, no onions or crunchy lettuce, tiny bites, and chewing like a weirdo who hasn't had a burger in 5 months, but glorious. In summary, I celebrated by shotgunning a beer, eating this cheeseburger, and watching 22 Jump Street.

Like a boss.

This morning, I chose donuts as my soft chew meal. This whole weight gain thing is gonna be a breeze from here...

The only somewhat negative news I got is that my right jaw (the side that was damaged when I fell on my face, and jaw whose growth was stunted), or condyle to be more specific, has less bone growth than Dr. Piper had hoped for. I may need jaw lengthening surgery at some point, but his plan is to keep an eye on it and have that talk when we need to. Of course, I hope we don't have to, but the whole jaw is so small; it looks insane on my CT scans, and I feel like half of my face should look huge compared to the other side based one what the bones really look like.

The reason for the jaw lengthening would be because my jaw wouldn't be long enough to support and maintain a corrected bite. I'll have braces after 9 months in the splint to correct my bite (my teeth only touch on the right side to tell you how off my bite is) and my jaw just wouldn't be able to accommodate and keep my new bite aligned -- worst case, though.

I like looking at best case better, especially after how this appointment went. It was so much more than I hoped for, and I cried after I ate my cheeseburger. No one knows this. Keep it that way. 

December-March consisted of soup, scrambled eggs, baby food, yogurt, smoothies, macaroni and cheese, and eventually (when I was brave enough to try new things) beans and rice, fish, and soft veggies; all foods cut into tiny pieces and swallowed whole. Struggling with the Therabite and forcing my jaws to gain the strength to open wider and wider. Slowly increasing time out of my splint from only 15 minutes at a time to an hour and 15. Hating my voice and lisp, and any time I had to talk to anyone. Smiling and laughing, but dealing with the annoyance of my lips getting stuck on my braces (okay, that's funny). Not being able to use my tongue... You take that for granted! 

March-whenever looks like eating cheeseburgers and meatballs and sandwiches and donuts, working out without feeling like I'm going to die on the spot (you can't breathe through your mouth but through one hole in the splint), being out of my splint long enough to have a decent conversation, good night out, and sense of feeling normal. I feel less fragile and less scared that I am going to mess everything up. I feel more hopeful that things will keep getting better. And am convinced that there will be more happy crying than sad crying. :)

I'm sure it'll continue to be frustrating and hold me back at times, but I'm really happy with my journey and the realizations and experiences I've had, people I've met, things I've learned about myself, and limits I've pushed. 

Happy three months to me!

I don't look back on things till I decide to write another one of these it seems, so here's how good things have been.

And yes, those things include margaritas, llamas, guns, and cinnamon rolls the size of my head.

UPDATE!

Just under 3 months since it all went down, and I feel like making lists today, so here are a few lists pertinent to surgery, post-op life, and my day-to-day victories, struggles, routines and funny moments.

Foods I never thought I'd be able to eat:
CHIPOTLE!
Garlic bread (Soft)
Enchiladas
Steak
Donuts
Panera's bread (Break it up and soak in soup. Heaven.)


Common misconceptions about what my splint is:
Vampire teeth (6 year old)
Teeth whitening device (?)
Plain old braces...


Common misconceptions about what my name is:
Shannon
Shaina
SHARA (REALLY?)

Small scares:
Bumping myself in the face (I'm protected while the splint is in) ...I do it way more that you'd ever think.
Fell down at work... Actually really hilarious story looking back, but was so scary as my splint was out! As long as the splint still fits and nothing is cracking/feels out of place, I'm assured I am okay!

Best moments:
Knowing I've overcome something big!
Finding a community of amazing people who provide support, laughs, and can relate to the same exact experiences.
Finding people I can now relate to and empathize with more than I would before
Being hired at a company and in a role I never thought I'd be able to fulfill under my circumstances, and doing well at it!
Finding my independence, and also the best support system ever in my friends and family.
Knowing and understanding it's GREAT to ask for help and accept it from others.

From a medical standpoint though, to get a little more serious, I am having a lot of neck pain/headaches still and my sympathetic system is a wreck. I haven't been able to unwind the system and allow everything to relax and be normal. I'm doing Chiro, and now massage (have found an AWESOME masseuse in St. Pete) and will hopefully be in for a nerve block the week after next. Optimism, happiness, laughter, positive influences, and following instructions from Doctors are what help me the most.


Tilllll next time.
xo

(I'll add pretty pictures later, promise.)

Six Week Check-Up

Not much happened at this appointment; it was just a quick in-and-out to meet with Dr. Piper to see if any medications need to be adjusted, that the splint still fits, and that the exercises and healing are going well.

We have agreed that I need nerve block injections and have scheduled those for next week preceding my Chiro to try to kick some of my neck pain and headaches. They'll be injected into my neck and will numb the areas where I have pain in hopes of bringing the pain levels down once the anesthesia wears off. I think mine will be in the occipital nerve, but will probably have multiple done.

I'll also have my splint polished as it's a little bit sharp in a few places and has been irritating my tongue. I did want them to crimp/reposition one of my hooks on my braces because it was causing a lot of pain, but since I've started using the Orajel Antiseptic Rinse mouthwash, my mouth feels so much better. I'm using less wax and feeling a lot less pain inside my mouth.

I have been reading a lot about Magnesium supplements helping with muscle soreness and got the okay to start taking it; Dr. Piper also added Calcium and Vitamin D to my list of dailies.

Here's where I'm at as far as medications, vitamins, pain levels, and activity:

Klonopin 0.5mg 4x daily
Trazodone 1 - 1.5 tabs 1x PM
Relafen as needed for anti-inflammatory
Tylenol as needed for pain - not taken with Relafen, and not taken on consecutive days.
Glucosamine & Chondroiton
     This one, to the left is the most disgusting. Buy it in powder form if possible!
      I have to crush the pills and mix them and it tastes horrible.
Vitamin E, C
Calcium & Vitamin D
Magnesium

Each vitamin has a different dosage/amount of units I'm supposed to satisfy daily. It's a mess trying to remember it all, so I'm just going to spare myself the numbers for now.

Chiropractic treatments 1x week
Gym: I have been trying to go every day and target a different muscle group, but only choosing exercises that protect my neck from any strain. I haven't been able to do cardio or any HIIT as it's just too difficult to breathe out of my mouth.

Pain levels
Headaches are daily, mostly in my temples and between my eyes. They range from a pain level of 4-9, and I can't wait to get the nerve blocks.
I have slight muscle soreness and occasional spasms in my jaws, but pain levels here can be 2-4.
My teeth have become very sensitive from clenching and lifting out of the splint to talk, ranging from pain levels of 5-10, depending on when I retrain to talk with my teeth together, and play around with the Trazodone dosages and remember to relax my jaws.
My neck is what has been consistently bothering me still, as you've probably read over and over, but Chiropractic and getting into the gym to regain strength and correct my posture should help; it's just a matter of time.


When I am out of the splint, I can open my mouth wide, and have a good range of motion without pain, something that I haven't been able to say for myself for years.

I almost forgot - tomorrow, my breaks out of the splint increase to 45 minutes!