I remember deciding to go through with my surgery, and the amazing efforts of my family and friends to help me through it financially, physically, and emotionally. I remember being so nervous in the hospital, waiting my turn, and running three hours behind. I remember waking up to my morphine pump, face wrapped in ice packs, mouth completely banded shut, smiling up at my family. I remember my night in the hospital and my mom sleeping on the hospital bed right next to me, and my amazing nurses. I remember the next day, and few weeks to follow that were so hard to adapt to; only taking my splint out for 15 minutes at a time, racing to eat, brush, take medicine, and band the splint back in. I remember the first time someone made fun of me, and meant it. I remember losing the job I had accepted two weeks before my surgery because they didn't like the way I talked with my splint it. I remember job hunting and interviewing and wanting to enroll in classes right away, because I don't do breaks and relaxing very well...
I remember it all so clearly, like it was yesterday. Every hard decision, small victory, tear of joy, tear of sadness, tear of loneliness... and moment of pride in myself. Looking back, it was all so hard, and life-changing, but I rolled with it and got through it, and here I sit almost 9 months later. The time has flown by and I can't wait to see what is in store next... As long as it isn't another surgery; that I could wait on.
I've had plenty of really happy moments, like meeting people who have only ever known me with bright shiny braces, a huge splint banded in my mouth, and an impossible lisp that you cannot interpret unless you read lips perfectly. I still know those people and love that they still treat me the same way that they did when we first met.Moving to St. Pete, having my world turned upside-down, and adapting to it all is another one of those moments. Missing my family and being filled with the biggest, sappiest, most disgusting feelings of joy when I see them. Landing a job that requires tons of talking and working through the excruciating pain of overworking my poor, beautiful, sparkly new jaws... Getting back into school to study something near and dear to my heart, radiography! (Not radiology; I do not want to attend years of med school and sit in a room all day staring at pictures and writing reports - not to knock anyone who does)... Find my way back into the sport I love, meeting tons of interesting people (good, bad, and funny) and seeing myself grow into a different person that I was just last year.
Not so happy moments include learning just today that my coworkers said to the rest of the staff after my first day, "Did you meet the new girl? Wait till you meet her. She's anorexic and can't talk." Being made fun of for what I consider the biggest blessing of my life doesn't change how I feel about anything, and those who get their amusement at the expense of others have more problems than jacked up jaws that require an expensive surgery and years of recovery to fix... So really, I lucked out. *Personality wise* ... *and sense of humor wise* *and I have awesome new and improved jaws wise* *and I eat donuts and pizza, and mocking any type of eating disorder makes you really kind of an ass, so I really came out on top here...wise*I'm proud of my journey, proud of myself, proud of my doctors, my family, my friends, my adaptation, my relentless attitude towards recovery, my optimism (real friends know... I'm a pessimist. Sometimes the most pessimistic. Sorry), and most importantly, my body. It deserves for me to love it after all that it has been pushed through and getting me this far in recovery.
My heat pad-wearing, food-loving, endlessly struggling, weight fluctuating, non-anorexic, body. Thank you, ladies of work, who have no idea what I have gone through, thank you. I am happy.
So I guess at this point, I can give an update on how I'm doing?NOT per doctor's orders, I rarely use my Therabite as I don't feel any type of resistance or exercise with it anymore. Peg 6 anyone?
I've really backed off of the medicines; I'm still taking Relafen once daily as an anti-inflammatory, take 2 Klonopin with that in the morning, and no Trazodone/other at night.
My splint has been broken three times. I super glued it back together, dusted it off, and popped it in. It's doing great.
I only wear the splint to bed now. If my jaws feel fatigued or overly sore, or I'm going on a long car ride and want peace of mind, I add more time to my splint schedule.
I'm having less and less headaches, and learned that a lot of them stemmed from my neck pain, and the rest were migraines or almost-migraines (if those exist) which have certain triggers.
I can eat pizza, veggie straws, cheetos (the puffy ones), soft sandwiches, cheeseburgers (medium rare, no crunchy toppings), cliff bars, harder fruits (grapes), stir fry, cheese and crackers,
quesadillas, steak, and probably more things I've forgotten that I would not think I'd be eating for at least a year.
I have been having more migraines recently than I've ever had in the past. I started paying more attention to what triggers them, and it seems to be... tequila (I know), stress, sleeping in the wrong position (hurting my head/neck), or a lucky combination of two or more. Coffee helps. An occipital release done by a PRO helps immensely. Not drinking tequila is a great help. Sleeping flat on my back with my head elevated, great. Ice/heat, whichever seems fitting for that episode, and staying in a pitch black, quiet place is heaven.
Ennnnnd.
9.22.15
