My TMJ Story: March 2015

Yesterday was my three month post-op appointment with Dr. Piper, and today is my official anniversary! I was so nervous that I've wrecked the fat grafts over these past few months by doing various things, like forgetting to put my splint in on time, bumping myself in the face, even sleeping without it twice on accident. I've been eating probably the same 8-10 foods for the last three months, swallowing pills bigger than my head, looking like a pill junkie, but "I promise they're just vitamins!" and talking 6 hours a day at work with the worst lisp ever.

It's all been worth it, and yesterday confirmed that! My fat grafts are completely fine. They're doing great, and I haven't done anything to harm them. The big news is my reward for reaching 3 months; My last splint schedule was 1 hour 15 minute breaks 5 times a day, eating foods that I can swallow, no chewing. Strict exercise regiment with the Therabite and jiggles, and I FORGOT TO MENTION the traumatic event that was BREAKING MY SPLINT IN HALF.

Side story: it had a hairline fracture down the middle from being dropped in the sink while washing, etc. and it finally happened... I was washing it, and dropped it on the floor... I just wanted to sit on the floor with my shattered splint (and life, duh) and sob. But I picked it up, super glued it back together, and went on my way. I didn't get it lined up perfectly and it was pretty painful to wear for the two weeks till my appointment.

Anyway...

New schedule! I wear the splint for 16 hours a day including sleep and can plan this however I want. I can take it out and leave it out for a few hours, as long as the times in the splint are spread out somewhat evenly and I meet the 16 hour mark.

I GET TO CHEW ONE MEAL A DAY!

Guys.

I GET TO CHEW ONE MEAL A DAY.

One soft chew meal a day, the consistency of a meatball or similar. Dr. Piper himself said hamburger. I about busted out of that exam room and sped to the nearest 5 Guys! Sooo naturally, as you can see, I had a cheeseburger and fries and it was GLORIOUS. Medium rare, no onions or crunchy lettuce, tiny bites, and chewing like a weirdo who hasn't had a burger in 5 months, but glorious. In summary, I celebrated by shotgunning a beer, eating this cheeseburger, and watching 22 Jump Street.

Like a boss.

This morning, I chose donuts as my soft chew meal. This whole weight gain thing is gonna be a breeze from here...

The only somewhat negative news I got is that my right jaw (the side that was damaged when I fell on my face, and jaw whose growth was stunted), or condyle to be more specific, has less bone growth than Dr. Piper had hoped for. I may need jaw lengthening surgery at some point, but his plan is to keep an eye on it and have that talk when we need to. Of course, I hope we don't have to, but the whole jaw is so small; it looks insane on my CT scans, and I feel like half of my face should look huge compared to the other side based one what the bones really look like.

The reason for the jaw lengthening would be because my jaw wouldn't be long enough to support and maintain a corrected bite. I'll have braces after 9 months in the splint to correct my bite (my teeth only touch on the right side to tell you how off my bite is) and my jaw just wouldn't be able to accommodate and keep my new bite aligned -- worst case, though.

I like looking at best case better, especially after how this appointment went. It was so much more than I hoped for, and I cried after I ate my cheeseburger. No one knows this. Keep it that way.

December-March consisted of soup, scrambled eggs, baby food, yogurt, smoothies, macaroni and cheese, and eventually (when I was brave enough to try new things) beans and rice, fish, and soft veggies; all foods cut into tiny pieces and swallowed whole. Struggling with the Therabite and forcing my jaws to gain the strength to open wider and wider. Slowly increasing time out of my splint from only 15 minutes at a time to an hour and 15. Hating my voice and lisp, and any time I had to talk to anyone. Smiling and laughing, but dealing with the annoyance of my lips getting stuck on my braces (okay, that's funny). Not being able to use my tongue... You take that for granted!

March-whenever looks like eating cheeseburgers and meatballs and sandwiches and donuts, working out without feeling like I'm going to die on the spot (you can't breathe through your mouth but through one hole in the splint), being out of my splint long enough to have a decent conversation, good night out, and sense of feeling normal. I feel less fragile and less scared that I am going to mess everything up. I feel more hopeful that things will keep getting better. And am convinced that there will be more happy crying than sad crying. :)

I'm sure it'll continue to be frustrating and hold me back at times, but I'm really happy with my journey and the realizations and experiences I've had, people I've met, things I've learned about myself, and limits I've pushed.

Happy three months to me!

I don't look back on things till I decide to write another one of these it seems, so here's how good things have been.